Tired

SO TIRED!

I could have slept all day...It's going to take me a while to recover from the semester, catch up on sleep and get into a more relaxed state of mind.

Today was a nice first day of break: saw my best friend, napped and played FF13.

I don't have much to say. lol. Nothing too profond, but if you insist...

It's funny to think how things have changed since I met my best friend, how many people have entered and left my life...yet through all of that, she is still here (why did typing "still here" make me want to listen to "Everything?") Incidentally, I simply have a thing for female singers!

Actually I do have something to dicuss. When I go back and listen to music I used to like, I don't understand how I ever could have listened to this stuff. Like Evanescence...ALL THEIR SONGS ARE ABOUT WANTING TO DIE! WTF. Okay just for the purpose of arugment, I'm going to listen to Imaginary, which was my FAVORITE song during high schoool. Actually Imaginary isn't the best example...I think that song really did help me a lot. It's VERY, VERY true. I'll never forget though how many times My Immortal made me cry. When someone played it after he died, when I was talking to her thinking about all my insecuries, when I sat there (I can't even type cutting so...) hurting myself. Yeah. I think it goes without saying, if I listened to Ev enough, I remember my past. I would remember what it feels like to be depressed. "Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken. Hello. I am the lie living for you so you can hide." Yeah. After this line, I'm going to return to something happier, but 1. I was broken. Very, very broken. 2. I did a very good job "living for you so you can hide."

Actually, let's see what other bands I used to like a lot...The Forecast (which is incidentally an indie-band from central Illinois), HIM (still listen to a little, but I tend to not like depressing things...)...and well, Nightwish (I didn't truly apprieciate them until last year though XD).

I've thought about writing myself a new past-one that doesn't include what mine does. I mean not because I'm ashamed or don't like it. I mean I DO like my past. I just want a past that is consist with who I am now, one I can tell people about.

Going to listen to maybe tomorrow now. That's the song from XS3. Four years ago, All I Wanted (capitalized because that's a song title)was to play that game. That's a PERFECT example of having nothing else in your life...and obsession.

I think I'm going to block off that road.