The Mummy

I’m a mummy.
All wrapped up
Body in-tact, mind shriveled away
Soon to encased
Forever with these thoughts
Memories of my mistakes, recollections of you
Never dying, never forgetting
Longing to return
So I can travel forward
Cross the river and
Let it die

I want to lay my thoughts to rest
In a tomb, far, far away from the
Floor I once shared with you
You’ll never know the role
Our -not quite- relationship
Played in my need for a sarcophagus
That your random comments, strong convictions
Sucked the blood from these stiffened veins

More or less, you were a roadblock
That bottle-necked my thoughts
My airway and all my bodily fluids
I choked and squirmed in your presence
At the thought of you
Let’s say I burst
My organs ruptured
Because of the clog you caused
Contradictory thoughts have
No release valve

Don’t bother as your wrap me
To carve my heart out
You already did
While I lived, sitting beside you
Leave the jars set aside to
Hold my useless organs
Empty
Like your eyes when you looked at me
Devoid of the feelings
That stopped my blood from reaching
My heart
Filled with desire
For you

I wish I could
Open my eyes
One last time to see
Your eyes twinkle
I know you silently
Enjoy wrapping the mouth
That knew no indoor voice
That supposedly disturbed your slumber
You bind me tighter
I find comfort once again
In a fantasy
These wrappings are your arms
Embracing me

I see white
Clouds in the sky of your kingdom
Floating above the throne from which
You rule
I dared question that authority
I wonder if you knew
I would love a power struggle
I didn’t want rebellion though
I wanted you
Inferior, you called me
And I believed it

I envy you
For building pyramids
While I drew maps to
Illusive treasure
Dug through scalding sand
And watched as the granules
Fell back into place
Like always
Mixing with my tears until
I sank into the quick-sand

In the next life
As irony would have it
I’ll be a creature
Who has no voice
Because I, who
Always had a witty comeback
Can never find the words when
It matters
I watch the tides of sand
Blow, rise and fall
As I burrow into the drifts
If I told you,
Would you have left me still
In a tight space for all eternity

Your kingdom will one day
Crumble, your gold will tarnish
I wish you the best
As you travel to construct
Bigger monuments in distant lands
I ask that you remember me
Maybe one day, you’ll excavate this place
Touch your finger tip to the mummy
You wrapped

I hope to laugh then
As if the memory tickled me
Like you’d laugh, like my friends would laugh
If I ever let the truth slip through my lips
Our love could never be
You, my love, never existed
A mere mirage in the scorching desert
That personified everything I feared
And longed for

Though as you fade
Into the orange horizon
A tear falls
Because I’m alone
Surrounded my dunes and sink holes
Wind and rain, beasts and scrutiny
Left to carve reality
From fallen stones
The whirling sands
Unearth me
A gem
Glistening in the sun