Honesty.

I tell people who come to me for advise this one thing: You have to be honest with yourself. Listen to your heart. You'll know what you really want to do.

I...I haven't done that. I've been lying to myself. Hiding. Running away?

Let's be serious here. I'm disappointed in myself because I let valuable opportunities go. Now I'm sitting here with nothing important to do. Like I used to...playing video games for extensive hours.

Why? Because I was afraid. I didn't want to go out of my way.

I'm trapped here under my own doing. I said that "I am going crazy, and I feel like I'm trapped inside a box wanting only to scream."

I'm angry because this nothingness is not the life I want...not even for a few months between school semester.

I had the chance to do the one thing I've always wanted to...and I didn't.

NO REGRETS. MOVE FORWARD.

I'm listening to the music from Xenosaga. It's been four years. Since that summer I waited for the conclusion the series. I almost forget...the effect that game had on my life. I think chaos was the one who taught me to "believe in the light of mankind's will."

Yet, there is no going back, no reliving the past. I learned all I could in those days. Now I'm here. I have to act.

So let's leave it at this: I'm sorry, Amy. I guess we really weren't ready. Right now, we have to find things that we can still do. It'll be alright.

I almost feel like I want to cry. Because I remember. Too well. The way I used to feel. It's so foreign. Everything that isn't NOW is foreign. It's hard for me to believe THIS wasn't ALWAYS my life.

"We have to open new doors and close those that we leave behind."

Dance of Fate. Epica. WHO BETTER COME BACK TO CHICAGO IN NOVEMBER.