Life

When I think about all the things in the world that make me happy, the world doesn't seem like such an awful place anymore...

Maybe it is because these things I love are so simple. It's not the shiny new LCD tv that really gets me excited or the raw knowledge I posess that makes me feel accomplished, but the memories of creativity, of laughing free with only my heart to guide me that fill my heart with joy.

I'm trying to remember what my favorite band was back in 2007...back in time I am remembering and smiling about right now ^_^

I remember the pure feelings of excitment I had back in junior year...especially in the spring. I remember the way those puffy trees reached toward me and made me scream...

I guess WT wasn't that special to me yet. Wow. Random tangent.

I remember things just working out and feeling close to friends...I remember so much, but I am not crying. I'm happy. These are happy memories of joyous times.

I have so many good times in my heart. I would love to relive them all, but there is no time! I have to chase the future now. I always knew this day would come. I don't live in the same world I used to...not at all, but I'm not really a different person. I've grown up. I haven't 'changed.'

I would love to stay forever in a world of memory<3 But alas it is time to move on...I can only trust that these memories, the love I learned, the adventures, my insane schemes, the laughter, the embaressing moments and my entire past that I can never remember but now is there...reside in my heart and will fortify me for the coming struggles.

I bare everything I once was, everything I ever did and said, all the accidents and sorrow I caused, all the friends I once loved, teh stories I created and the identities I chose within my heart.

I realized a year ago that these things can never be my weapon...only armor.

Then what is weapon? What shall I fight?

Last year brought me many more questions, but it was also the beginning a journey--the journey I was meant to take, that my past prepared me for.

I'm smiling now...remembering....trying to make peace...I'm far from that point now really...but...I am not held down any longer.