Words

I don't have the words I need. There are not words for what I want to say from where I am now and I don't understand. I have always had a million and a half things to say...had a solution for everything. But I don't know. I'm not unhappy. It is not that I no longer get excited or don't laugh. I do. I just don't have my beloved voice.

I'm searching for something-songs,stories,conversations-that will guide me back to myself, but honestly, I once spent six monthes trying to get back to myself only to realize I never would wake with everything alright again. And there was no greater truth and since then that reality has hit be so many times...losing friends, seeing failure, hopelessness. REALITY.

I think I understand I am running from reality.

And I accept this fact.

Maybe the problem is now I am living in another world, one I invented with no suffering, no happiness, no creativity...

Am I afraid of what I would say?