Today was one hell of a confusion.
I was exhausted from the start. I was going to get up at 8 but failed there and didn't go to the stats lecture that might have helped me more on my quiz. Then it turned out I couldn't finish learning the material for the quiz and had to take it before I could learn anything else...so I did after class but then left the computer standing while we went across campus for dinner and of course, the quiz was timed so when I got back I only had 13 minutes to finish...FAIL. Idiot. But I still got an A according to the quiz...lol.
Then I had this terrible feeling that I am a bad hall council president and this was only multiplied by the extremely giddy way I act when a certain person is around. She was sitting right next to me and I couldn't think, talk or move. Dang, I fell off the damn couch. A perfect example of how I was acting like an idiot to get attention so she would notice me. WTF. Okay so maybe I have a crush on her...How awkward.
Haven't done nearly enough school work...can't sleep until I do. *sigh* I gotta keep going though. I can keep up.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Pale
When I was younger I didn't know weather could change almost instantly. I thought if it was sunny in the morning it was sunny that day and if it rained in the morning it was a crappy day...
Similarly when I was younger I used to think there were weeks when I would just be sad and nothing would break it. Then for whatever reason (usually cuz I had cut myself) I would just feel better and until things got bad again I would be happy.
A ton of things have happened since then obviously that has completely revolutionalized my thoughts on that subject...Now I know we can always fall victim to a storm, even if it was the brightest morning ever. So we gotta keep our eyes open and be ready!
When it comes to moods, I think I have slowly come to learn one can be happy and sad at the same time...like right now...I feel so sorrowful, but still full of warm, but then again I am listening to Pale and that right there is a very accurate description of Pale. I was listening to all these songs...mostly sad ones...but listening to sad songs when you are sad is just like jumping into the hole that wants to suck you in...so I try to cut to the chase and listen to Pale when I feel like this.
I truly love this song. When all else fails, WT is -was- the reason I have to stay.
The world happens...rain comes and ruins the bright morning...and life ruins our bright moods, but rain isn't that bad...that's what April Rain taught me last April. I love April now<3
I love that song...just not as much as I love Pale...WT will always be needed for my mental well-being since they are a part of me. While I was "rebuilding" my mind, WT was there...WT in entwined within me.
The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.
I have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
I know, should realise
Time is precious, it is worthwhile.
Despite how I feel inside,
Have to trust it will be all right.
Have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist I see the face
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
*shakes head* That is pure love...and no it does not mean I want to kill myself (like the pyschologist thought lol) "stay" can mean lots of things...I'm not going to deny there was a time when this song took on a more pyshical meaning for me...actually I think Pale came after the fact, but whatever...Pale made me see the real "reasons I have to stay" The friends I have to fight for, the dreams I need to fulfill and all that good stuff. Now by stay, I think I mean stay focused on what I need to do and not get too lost on the path of depression or running away.
Regardless, Pale is my favorite song.
Similarly when I was younger I used to think there were weeks when I would just be sad and nothing would break it. Then for whatever reason (usually cuz I had cut myself) I would just feel better and until things got bad again I would be happy.
A ton of things have happened since then obviously that has completely revolutionalized my thoughts on that subject...Now I know we can always fall victim to a storm, even if it was the brightest morning ever. So we gotta keep our eyes open and be ready!
When it comes to moods, I think I have slowly come to learn one can be happy and sad at the same time...like right now...I feel so sorrowful, but still full of warm, but then again I am listening to Pale and that right there is a very accurate description of Pale. I was listening to all these songs...mostly sad ones...but listening to sad songs when you are sad is just like jumping into the hole that wants to suck you in...so I try to cut to the chase and listen to Pale when I feel like this.
I truly love this song. When all else fails, WT is -was- the reason I have to stay.
The world happens...rain comes and ruins the bright morning...and life ruins our bright moods, but rain isn't that bad...that's what April Rain taught me last April. I love April now<3
I love that song...just not as much as I love Pale...WT will always be needed for my mental well-being since they are a part of me. While I was "rebuilding" my mind, WT was there...WT in entwined within me.
The world seems not the same,
Though I know nothing has changed.
It's all my state of mind,
I can't leave it all behind.
I have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
I know, should realise
Time is precious, it is worthwhile.
Despite how I feel inside,
Have to trust it will be all right.
Have to stand up to be stronger.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
Oh, this night is too long.
I have no strength to go on.
No more pain, I'm floating away.
Through the mist I see the face
Of an angel, who calls my name.
I remember you're the reason I have to stay.
I have to try to break free
From the thoughts in my mind.
Use the time that I have,
I can't say goodbye,
Have to make it right.
Have to fight, cause I know
In the end it's worthwhile,
That the pain that I feel slowly fades away.
It will be alright.
*shakes head* That is pure love...and no it does not mean I want to kill myself (like the pyschologist thought lol) "stay" can mean lots of things...I'm not going to deny there was a time when this song took on a more pyshical meaning for me...actually I think Pale came after the fact, but whatever...Pale made me see the real "reasons I have to stay" The friends I have to fight for, the dreams I need to fulfill and all that good stuff. Now by stay, I think I mean stay focused on what I need to do and not get too lost on the path of depression or running away.
Regardless, Pale is my favorite song.
69 Strikes Again...
But isn't that life?
See 69 represents the coming together of opposites...say joy and sorrow, light and darkness and life and death. That is some insane symbolism right there and I didn't even get it until now. I didn't even do it on purpose today.
Last year on 9/6 (European 69 day) I saw Nw for the first time. I was going to see them in May of last year, but you know, that was when I was terribely depressed so I couldn't...so naturally seeing Nw meant a whole lot to me. Basically it meant that I was happy enough to enjoy things I love again and live again. That was a really funny evening...the guy with the taco I was going to throw at Anette, doing the SMG dance, getting lost under the city and having a homeless guy help us, the random guy who never e-mailed me back and not knowing who Tuomas was...BUT FALLING IN LOVE<3 So you have the contrast there...
Earlier this year on 6/9 we went to "Lover's Lane" which is basically a naughty store that sells well you can imagine what and then the cemetary. Talk about contrast right there...and of course, I adressed the wrong grave, but I know she would have loved that so I kinda feel proud of my dumbness.
And well today I was all happy then with the bird and a conversation I had with a friend made me see the pain that is this life. But in order to celebrate the year anniversary of Nw, we watched End of Era (Nw dvd of their LAST concert) Just like I repeatidly watch the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie with the hope WILL WON'T DIE. I keep watching EoaE hoping NW WON'T FIRE TARJA!!! WHY????
I always cry at the end of EoaE cuz NIGHTWISH DIES *tears*
But quoting ME again..."A new beginning always starts at the end" =)
This coming together of good and bad...is what life is...let's say 6 is good and 9 is bad...then well life is 69!!!
TAKE THAT PEOPLE WHO THINK MY MIND IS IN THE GUTTER CUZ MY WATCH BEEPS AT 6:09 EVERYDAY!!! 69 should be the title of my memoires...
See 69 represents the coming together of opposites...say joy and sorrow, light and darkness and life and death. That is some insane symbolism right there and I didn't even get it until now. I didn't even do it on purpose today.
Last year on 9/6 (European 69 day) I saw Nw for the first time. I was going to see them in May of last year, but you know, that was when I was terribely depressed so I couldn't...so naturally seeing Nw meant a whole lot to me. Basically it meant that I was happy enough to enjoy things I love again and live again. That was a really funny evening...the guy with the taco I was going to throw at Anette, doing the SMG dance, getting lost under the city and having a homeless guy help us, the random guy who never e-mailed me back and not knowing who Tuomas was...BUT FALLING IN LOVE<3 So you have the contrast there...
Earlier this year on 6/9 we went to "Lover's Lane" which is basically a naughty store that sells well you can imagine what and then the cemetary. Talk about contrast right there...and of course, I adressed the wrong grave, but I know she would have loved that so I kinda feel proud of my dumbness.
And well today I was all happy then with the bird and a conversation I had with a friend made me see the pain that is this life. But in order to celebrate the year anniversary of Nw, we watched End of Era (Nw dvd of their LAST concert) Just like I repeatidly watch the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie with the hope WILL WON'T DIE. I keep watching EoaE hoping NW WON'T FIRE TARJA!!! WHY????
I always cry at the end of EoaE cuz NIGHTWISH DIES *tears*
But quoting ME again..."A new beginning always starts at the end" =)
This coming together of good and bad...is what life is...let's say 6 is good and 9 is bad...then well life is 69!!!
TAKE THAT PEOPLE WHO THINK MY MIND IS IN THE GUTTER CUZ MY WATCH BEEPS AT 6:09 EVERYDAY!!! 69 should be the title of my memoires...
Broken Wing
I think I have mentioned I have four cats. A few hours ago, the cat that likes to pee on everything had a bird in its mouth and was playing with it. My brother goes outside and is like the bird is still alive (after Fenix put it down) but the cats were still attacking and Mr. Bird<3 couldn't run away...
So Mum and I put Mr. Bird in an ice cream cone box (lol) and drive him over to the animal shelter. On the way I looked into his tiny little black eye and just broke down into tears. I just knew he was suffering, scared, but I couldn't do anything but cry. I wanted to keep him, to make sure he got better, but that's not very realistic...
The worker who took him said the bird didn't look very bad and a supervisor would look at him then and a vet would the next morning...I just hope he was telling the truth. I know if we hadn't taken Mr. Bird in he would have died for sure (cats would eat him. It's their nature...), but I can't know what the shelter will do with him. I guess I just have to pray for Mr. Bird. He is so cute.
I love birds so much. PLEASE BE ALRIGHT MY DEAR BIRD<3
"I find my strength believing that their souls live on...until the end of time, I'll carry them with me"
SHARON.
WITHIN TEMPTATION.
MY LOVES<3
So Mum and I put Mr. Bird in an ice cream cone box (lol) and drive him over to the animal shelter. On the way I looked into his tiny little black eye and just broke down into tears. I just knew he was suffering, scared, but I couldn't do anything but cry. I wanted to keep him, to make sure he got better, but that's not very realistic...
The worker who took him said the bird didn't look very bad and a supervisor would look at him then and a vet would the next morning...I just hope he was telling the truth. I know if we hadn't taken Mr. Bird in he would have died for sure (cats would eat him. It's their nature...), but I can't know what the shelter will do with him. I guess I just have to pray for Mr. Bird. He is so cute.
I love birds so much. PLEASE BE ALRIGHT MY DEAR BIRD<3
"I find my strength believing that their souls live on...until the end of time, I'll carry them with me"
SHARON.
WITHIN TEMPTATION.
MY LOVES<3
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sin
I'm going to listen to "She Is My Sin" while I post this just because it is SORT OF related.
My sophmore year of highschool (four years ago ^_^) I had this english teacher who just didn't like me (I didn't misbehave that much...) Alex and I called her "Sin" after the main boss from FFX. Sin had this thing about English majors...YOU ALL SHOULD BECOME ENGLISH MAJORS!!! Oh Sin guess who is an English major...(kinda...)
The person you hated...who never talked in class and never read and made stuff up...and whose board game you gave a bad grade to despite the emmence amount of creativity and work that went into that thing...yeah.
Sin once told my parents, she wished I would work with other people besides Alex. I guess, she thought Alex was holding me back...that I was hiding.
This is very true too. I didn't want to walk alone then...couldn't do anything alone. I need someone else to justify my existence. She was my other half...still is...or at least the memory. I know I relied on her too much and that is why this hurts so much...
"I just thought we'd have more time." Alex once said senior year...We do and we don't...it's a choice. It's sad thinking back and funny and ironic and beautiful.
"All I loved, all I have known...but I believe I'm never far from home."
Listening to the theme song from Rogue Galaxy now...that of course is the game I was playing while I was really depressed so even the thought of it brings about WEIRD feelings, but I still really love the song.
Oh shit yeah I forgot..."Had enough symphonies of sorrow" I'm not going to listen to Poet and the Pendulum again...it's a little thing I have going on. It means something to me not listening to it. I would fail at explaining that though.
My sophmore year of highschool (four years ago ^_^) I had this english teacher who just didn't like me (I didn't misbehave that much...) Alex and I called her "Sin" after the main boss from FFX. Sin had this thing about English majors...YOU ALL SHOULD BECOME ENGLISH MAJORS!!! Oh Sin guess who is an English major...(kinda...)
The person you hated...who never talked in class and never read and made stuff up...and whose board game you gave a bad grade to despite the emmence amount of creativity and work that went into that thing...yeah.
Sin once told my parents, she wished I would work with other people besides Alex. I guess, she thought Alex was holding me back...that I was hiding.
This is very true too. I didn't want to walk alone then...couldn't do anything alone. I need someone else to justify my existence. She was my other half...still is...or at least the memory. I know I relied on her too much and that is why this hurts so much...
"I just thought we'd have more time." Alex once said senior year...We do and we don't...it's a choice. It's sad thinking back and funny and ironic and beautiful.
"All I loved, all I have known...but I believe I'm never far from home."
Listening to the theme song from Rogue Galaxy now...that of course is the game I was playing while I was really depressed so even the thought of it brings about WEIRD feelings, but I still really love the song.
Oh shit yeah I forgot..."Had enough symphonies of sorrow" I'm not going to listen to Poet and the Pendulum again...it's a little thing I have going on. It means something to me not listening to it. I would fail at explaining that though.
Long Weekend!!!
WHICH MEANS I GOT TO GO HOME ON THE BUS!!! YIP XD
So I am home now. (Yes, the same home I used to hate being at, but that was summer. Now is different. Now I shall relax and be swell as a bell)
Got some really nice tea and music playing...TO BAD I HAVE LOTS OF HOMEWORK.
Blah. Waffles. I ate lots of pudding and whipped cream and cherries too. yay.
Feeling pretty good actually. Happy, feel like I've changed a lot. The world looks different...my world that is...which brings me to this:
"No matter how much we want something, we will not do it until we are ready"
It seems really obvious, but think about a bit. Personally, there have been I have dreamed of being or doing, but never took steps to have and of course, I felt terrible about it, but in retrospect, I realize I wasn't ready then. It was just a dream. Here I am now udnerstanding this...seeing all the things I have done in the past few weeks and knowing I have grown.
Here's the song of the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT8wH63UocU&feature=channel_page
This is her song. When we would talk in the beginning of the summer, I would listen to this and cry...especially the imagination part...I will always being waiting, Alex, but for now I'm excepting my best friend went away...maybe you'll come home one day...Please know I still dream of you, want you to know I will never give in.
So I am home now. (Yes, the same home I used to hate being at, but that was summer. Now is different. Now I shall relax and be swell as a bell)
Got some really nice tea and music playing...TO BAD I HAVE LOTS OF HOMEWORK.
Blah. Waffles. I ate lots of pudding and whipped cream and cherries too. yay.
Feeling pretty good actually. Happy, feel like I've changed a lot. The world looks different...my world that is...which brings me to this:
"No matter how much we want something, we will not do it until we are ready"
It seems really obvious, but think about a bit. Personally, there have been I have dreamed of being or doing, but never took steps to have and of course, I felt terrible about it, but in retrospect, I realize I wasn't ready then. It was just a dream. Here I am now udnerstanding this...seeing all the things I have done in the past few weeks and knowing I have grown.
Here's the song of the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT8wH63UocU&feature=channel_page
This is her song. When we would talk in the beginning of the summer, I would listen to this and cry...especially the imagination part...I will always being waiting, Alex, but for now I'm excepting my best friend went away...maybe you'll come home one day...Please know I still dream of you, want you to know I will never give in.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Exciting!
Today was pretty rocking ^_^
The morning was a drag though...I woke up at around 9ish...after a very nice WT aided rest, but I was far too restless to get any real work down so I was just poking around the introwebs until it was time for work...which brings me to the first order of business...I worked for the first time ever today!!! In the dining hall of my dorm, that is, which won't be so great once the novelty wears off but hey it was fine today. I got shifts that really don't interefere with my life that much since I have that time devoted to lunch anyway and Monday night isn't a really hard time for school work usually. Hopefully this all works out well enough. I was a little nervous cuz I can be a bit of a clutz and not pay attention and all that...likes this is really ironic. Right after I spent the last hour and a half cleaning, I spilled soda while I was getting lunch myself...Yeah, we rushed to rememdy the situation though ^_^
Also today I wrote a review of one of my favorite albums...April Rain (Delain lol)...and sent it off as an informal writing sample. I really want to write this entertainment magaziene on campus...Heh. Yip! Already had some friends say it was good, but I never know with my writing...I think it is rather cheesey or immature.
I just wish for once I could see myself for what I really am...objectively that...like the rest of the whole who is not me does. Then maybe I would truly believe I am smart, talented and all that. I'm getting really tired of putting myself down all the time...really tired of saying bad stuff about myself just in case the person I say it to thinks that to so it is like I am making a joke out of it. That is all cowards work. I have things I want to do...and I'm only holding myself down here with all these thoughts that I am ugly, awkward, lame, unlikable and whatnot.
But honestly after growing up with all this rushing through my head, it is hard to escape...but then again I am quite good at getting way from my past. Regardless, I must keep following this path...
"Have to stand up to be stronger"
The morning was a drag though...I woke up at around 9ish...after a very nice WT aided rest, but I was far too restless to get any real work down so I was just poking around the introwebs until it was time for work...which brings me to the first order of business...I worked for the first time ever today!!! In the dining hall of my dorm, that is, which won't be so great once the novelty wears off but hey it was fine today. I got shifts that really don't interefere with my life that much since I have that time devoted to lunch anyway and Monday night isn't a really hard time for school work usually. Hopefully this all works out well enough. I was a little nervous cuz I can be a bit of a clutz and not pay attention and all that...likes this is really ironic. Right after I spent the last hour and a half cleaning, I spilled soda while I was getting lunch myself...Yeah, we rushed to rememdy the situation though ^_^
Also today I wrote a review of one of my favorite albums...April Rain (Delain lol)...and sent it off as an informal writing sample. I really want to write this entertainment magaziene on campus...Heh. Yip! Already had some friends say it was good, but I never know with my writing...I think it is rather cheesey or immature.
I just wish for once I could see myself for what I really am...objectively that...like the rest of the whole who is not me does. Then maybe I would truly believe I am smart, talented and all that. I'm getting really tired of putting myself down all the time...really tired of saying bad stuff about myself just in case the person I say it to thinks that to so it is like I am making a joke out of it. That is all cowards work. I have things I want to do...and I'm only holding myself down here with all these thoughts that I am ugly, awkward, lame, unlikable and whatnot.
But honestly after growing up with all this rushing through my head, it is hard to escape...but then again I am quite good at getting way from my past. Regardless, I must keep following this path...
"Have to stand up to be stronger"
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sadness
I know fully understand why Angels Fall First (in caps because it is a Nw song<3 and album for that matter)
Angels are too pure for this world so they must die so they cannot have the chance to be corrupted. If they didn't die necesarily they would become darker, more experienced and would cease to be angels anyway. Tis much better than to die an angel than to live a life of "surviving."
Reminds me of my all time favorite poem "Songs of Innocence and Experience" by Blake! Yip, I am a Romantic...not always a fun thing...but hey Tuomas is a Romantic. We need to hook-up totally!
I do believe I will go listen to Amaranth now. I love Amaranth (not necesarily the song but everything never-fading represents)
So to those Nw gurus...has anyone else ever seen the connection between AFF and Amarannth...which is symbolic for Nw in that each was on a "first" cd. Perhaps more on this later, but now I really have to go...(it is not 4 am either like when I used to post here...)
Angels are too pure for this world so they must die so they cannot have the chance to be corrupted. If they didn't die necesarily they would become darker, more experienced and would cease to be angels anyway. Tis much better than to die an angel than to live a life of "surviving."
Reminds me of my all time favorite poem "Songs of Innocence and Experience" by Blake! Yip, I am a Romantic...not always a fun thing...but hey Tuomas is a Romantic. We need to hook-up totally!
I do believe I will go listen to Amaranth now. I love Amaranth (not necesarily the song but everything never-fading represents)
So to those Nw gurus...has anyone else ever seen the connection between AFF and Amarannth...which is symbolic for Nw in that each was on a "first" cd. Perhaps more on this later, but now I really have to go...(it is not 4 am either like when I used to post here...)
An Update...
Since I haven't posted anything here since the Monday of the week I returned to school. Well as the previous sentence says I returned to school!!! Yip, very exciting ^_^
Sadly though, my excitement lasted about one day...then I was overwhelmed with work. Brillant me had to take six classes...most of which involve lots of reading
And I have to stop typing for a second since I forgot to finnish some of the homework for one o fmy literature classes...
And finnished it it now.
I tend to think my life has more meaning when I am busy...better than sitting around wasting time on the internet...like I did all summer. WTF.
See this how I hate myself...I hate everything I was and will do anything not to be like that...this is not healthy. But how can I like myself? The one person who knew me most rejected me...
The downside to being busy is you don't get to go too deep into anything...and deepness is what I love most, isn't it...when I am focused on getting work then my mind can't focus on a single thing long enough to figure it out and I am just left terribley confused.
Like I am now. Confused, feeling unloved, insecure and totally wrong. Not like me at all. Me...
I told my friend I changed over summer, but not in a way I could really describe and this is true. I don't understand myself now...I don't know who I am...why I am doing all this...
Two nights in a row I dreamed of her...of us being reunited. Then last night I dreamed a fire destroyed my house. Two nights in a row I woke up gasping even though I could breath...last night I was listening to WT and stopped myself.
WT sounds foreign. It sounds boring...
I guess I'm jsut restless...searching for that one thing that will define and fix everything that I am feeling right now. I've been here before...patience I guess will save me with time.
Maybe I have grown up...come to understand the lie that is passion and innocence and the trouble these things get you in. Maybe I've become cold and can no longer trust...
But alas I must go work-out now...the brief time that I get to escape into my own world and just listen to music ^_^
You are out there somewhere, right Sharon?
Sadly though, my excitement lasted about one day...then I was overwhelmed with work. Brillant me had to take six classes...most of which involve lots of reading
And I have to stop typing for a second since I forgot to finnish some of the homework for one o fmy literature classes...
And finnished it it now.
I tend to think my life has more meaning when I am busy...better than sitting around wasting time on the internet...like I did all summer. WTF.
See this how I hate myself...I hate everything I was and will do anything not to be like that...this is not healthy. But how can I like myself? The one person who knew me most rejected me...
The downside to being busy is you don't get to go too deep into anything...and deepness is what I love most, isn't it...when I am focused on getting work then my mind can't focus on a single thing long enough to figure it out and I am just left terribley confused.
Like I am now. Confused, feeling unloved, insecure and totally wrong. Not like me at all. Me...
I told my friend I changed over summer, but not in a way I could really describe and this is true. I don't understand myself now...I don't know who I am...why I am doing all this...
Two nights in a row I dreamed of her...of us being reunited. Then last night I dreamed a fire destroyed my house. Two nights in a row I woke up gasping even though I could breath...last night I was listening to WT and stopped myself.
WT sounds foreign. It sounds boring...
I guess I'm jsut restless...searching for that one thing that will define and fix everything that I am feeling right now. I've been here before...patience I guess will save me with time.
Maybe I have grown up...come to understand the lie that is passion and innocence and the trouble these things get you in. Maybe I've become cold and can no longer trust...
But alas I must go work-out now...the brief time that I get to escape into my own world and just listen to music ^_^
You are out there somewhere, right Sharon?
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