Lesson -almost- learned

So this really made my day, which wasn't going so well for like the hour I had been up: a friend who I hadn't talked to since freshman year ended called me and we had a nice conversation that made me a lot happier. You know why?

CUZ THAT IS WHAT FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR YOU. CHEER YOU UP, WANT TO TALK TO YOU, TOO SEE YOU. GOOD FRIENDS DON'T MAKE YOU CRY EVERYTIME YOU TALK TO THEM OR PUT THIS CONSTANT WORRY OR HURT IN YOUR HEAD THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT EVERY GOOD TIME YOU HAVE!!!

Seriously. I don't like, don't understand why this is happening honestly, but I'm going to have to live with it and focus on myself....which is so hard coming from someone who wants to take everyone's pain away. But a certain person won't let me help them. I know I cannot control other people as much as I would love too, but sadly NOPE. They gotta learn for themselves. I mean I learned for ymself...no one came along and saved me...(except WT)...but that's not the point...I want to help other people partly because no one was ever there to help me. Maybe I'm going around it the wrong way...trying to change someone. Probably, but once again it's hard.

Something has to change...I can't keep feeling so bad for you. I can't keep having you remind me of that damn song Bye Bye Beautiful...

Did you ever hear what I told you
Did you ever read what I wrote you
Did you ever listen to what we played
Did you ever let in what the world said
Did we get this far just to feel your hate
Did we play to become only pawns in the game
How blind can you be, don't you see
You chose the long road but we'll be waiting

YOU NEVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO RELATE TO THAT SONG.

Anyway...Time to focus on being excited again since that is really important to me.